Leicestershire Partnership NHS Trust’s maternal mental health service is reminding those impacted by baby loss that support is available this Baby Loss Awareness Week.

Taking place from Friday 9 October to Thursday 15 October, Baby Loss Awareness Week aims to bring together those impacted by loss and provide people with supportive spaces to share their experiences and feel they are not alone.

Dr Joanne Herdman, consultant clinical psychologist and psychology lead for LPT’s perinatal and maternal mental health services, said: “We understand that losing a baby for any reason and at any point, whether it is at any stage of pregnancy, during birth or in infancy, is incredibly painful and heartbreaking. There is no single ‘right’ way to be feeling after an experience like this, and it can take some time for feelings to settle as people go through the grieving process. For some people, it can also feel like a lonely place too.

“We want to remind people that they can reach out for support if they need it. Whether this is your existing support network, by accessing professional help, or by speaking to someone who has been through a similar experience to you, there are many ways to get help.”

Over the course of the week, bereaved parents, their families, and friends are being invited to commemorate their babies by sharing stories of remembrance and hope. This includes taking part in the Wave of Light on Thursday 15 October at 7pm, a worldwide event where families are invited to light a candle for an hour, in memory of all babies who died too soon – and if they choose, share a post on social media.

The week also provides an opportunity to be reminded that no-one has to sit alone in their grief and that help is available if you need it.

During the week, LPT is sharing information about some of the local Leicester, Leicestershire, and Rutland support available, including more about its maternal mental health service. The service is run by a psychology led, trauma informed team, which supports women and birthing people with moderate to severe difficulties related to baby loss, birth trauma and tokophobia (fear of pregnancy and childbirth).

Help, support and resources

Local support

  • Babyloss Support LLR offers peer to peer support to families affected by the death of a baby in Leicester, Leicestershire and Rutland. Support is available face to face, over the phone, via email and social media, as well as through group support sessions.
  • Bodie Hodges supports families bereaved of a baby or child aged 24 weeks gestation to 18 years living in Leicester, Leicestershire, and Rutland. They offer whole family support and counselling during the first 18 months following the death of a child aged 18 or under.
  • Jakin Counselling support those facing an unplanned pregnancy, pregnancy loss, difficult news during a pregnancy scan and those struggling after a pregnancy choice they’ve made.
  • The Laura Centre supports grieving parents and siblings through the difficult stages of bereavement of any baby or child loss.
  • The LPT maternal mental health service. Please speak to your midwife, obstetrician or health visitor to be referred. You can also access some of the Maternal Mental Health service’s meditations on the LPT YouTube channel, including the Developing loving kindness meditation and the Sanctuary meditation which can help with feelings of grief. However, before watching: please note the video contains a guided memorial and reflection exercise. We recognise that grief is deeply personal, and this type of reflection may not feel right for everyone.
  • Local mental health support is also available at local neighbourhood mental health cafes
  • You can get urgent mental health support by calling NHS 111 and selecting the mental health option.

National support

Baby Loss Awareness Week local events

Wave of Light Event

15 October – 6.15pm to 8pm The King’s Centre, 56 Bull Head Street, Wigston, LE18 1PA

Hosted by Babyloss Support Leicester, Leicestershire and Rutland, this event forms part of the international Wave of Light, providing an opportunity for reflection and remembrance.

Virtual Wave of Light Event

15 October – 7pm to 8pm

To join the virtual Wave of Light, take a photo of your candle and post it to Facebook, Twitter or Instagram using #WaveOfLight at 7pm local time or join our Facebook Event to watch the livestream.

Leicester, Leicestershire and Rutland Sands Ribbon Display

9 – 15 October – Hawthorn Building, The Newarke, Leicester, LE2 7BY

A remembrance ribbon display located at the Magazine Square entrance of the Hawthorn Building. Display hours: 9am – 5pm

If you are unable to get to the display yourself, please contact organiser, Jodie and she can place a ribbon on your behalf – 07946 215976.

Town Hall Square Ribbon Display

9 – 17 October – Town Hall Square, Horsefair Street, Leicester

Hosted by Babyloss Support Leicester, Leicestershire and Rutland, this public display honours and remembers babies who have died and raises awareness of the impact of baby loss on families.

 

How you can help someone going through baby loss

Here are some tips from the maternal mental health service about how you can help someone who has experienced baby loss.

Listen without trying to fix.

You don’t need answers. You can’t fix this for them.

Give them space to talk about their baby, their experience and how they’re feeling – without trying to find a positive or make things better.

Sometimes saying “I’m here and I’m listening” is enough.

Acknowledge their baby and loss.

If you know their baby’s name, don’t be afraid to say it. You’re not reminding them of something they’ve forgotten. You’re acknowledging someone who matters to them.

Follow their lead.

There is no single way to grieve. They might want to talk, they might laugh one day and struggle the next. Let them tell you what they need, without judgment.

Remember important dates.

Remembering important dates such as anniversaries, due dates, remembrance days shows ongoing support.

It’s a gentle way of acknowledging their baby and reminding them they’re not alone.

Practical support matters.

When someone is grieving, “let me know if you need anything” can be difficult to respond to. Instead, try something practical, like:

  • “Do you need something getting from the shops?”
  • “Can I make you a cup of tea?”
  • “Would you like me to come round?”

Ask yourself, ‘what might the person who has experienced the loss need today?’

Keep checking in.

Support can be plentiful in the first few days and weeks. But grief doesn’t have a timetable. Check in later, too. Remember important dates. Send the message.

You don’t need the perfect words.

Be present, listen, remember, keep showing up.

The key thing to remember is that there is no, one right way to support a bereaved loved one. Try to aim for presence rather than perfection. Showing up means a lot.