Helping autistic children get to and from school

Many autistic children find it hard to travel to and from school because they feel distressed or out of control. It is very rarely about trying to misbehave or cause problems. Feelings of anxiety or not knowing what will happen next can make these moments feel unsafe.

For many children, going to school can feel stressful, so the journey there may bring up worry about what is ahead. At the end of the day, they may have spent a long time holding themselves together. When it is time to go home, they may finally relax and release that stress, which can make leaving more challenging.

Times when they have to move from one place or activity to another, such as leaving home, getting into a car, or leaving school, can feel uncertain. Sensory experiences, like noise or crowds, can also add to the stress.

There is no one-size-fits-all approach. What helps one child may not help another, and what works one day may not work the next. It often takes trial and error to find the supports that work best for your child.

This article explains why these journeys can be hard and shares practical, supportive ideas to make them easier. The focus is on helping children feel safe, understood, and more in control, to reduce distress wherever possible.

Why travel to and from school can be difficult

Autistic children may find these parts of the day challenging because:

  • They may need more time to process what is happening and switch between activities
  • They may not feel in control of what is happening
  • They can feel anxious about school or about leaving a place they enjoy
  • They may have sensory sensitivities, such as noise in the car or busy playgrounds
  • They may feel very tired after school, especially if they have been working hard to cope or hold in their feelings, and when the school day ends and that pressure reduces, their stress can come out

For some children, refusing to move, get in the car, or leave a place is a way of showing distress.

Support before leaving home

Preparing before the journey can reduce stress

  • Keep the morning as calm and predictable as possible
  • Allow extra time where you can, even a few minutes helps
  • Use a simple routine so the child knows what happens first, next and last
  • Give advance warnings before transition points, such as “ten minutes until we leave” and “five minutes until we leave”
  • Use visuals, countdowns, or timers to show how much time is left
  • Some children find sand timers particularly helpful because they can clearly see time passing

Example:
Amina finds mornings hard. Her parent gives her a simple order: get dressed, eat breakfast, shoes on. A picture list is on the wall, and her parent gives reminders when it is nearly time to move to the next step.

Offer real choices

Children are more likely to cooperate when they feel they have some control.

However, some children may find choices overwhelming, especially when they are anxious, tired, or stressed. They may prefer an adult to make decisions for them.

Parents and carers need to use trial and error to work out what helps their child and may need to adjust their approach depending on how the child is feeling that day.

Give choices that are real and manageable, if they are available and safe, for example:

  • whether to walk or use a scooter
  • music or quiet in the car

Example:

Jay refuses to get in the car each morning. When their parent starts offering simple choices, such as “Do you want quiet or music?”, Jay begins to engage more because they feel more involved in what is happening.

In contrast, Sam becomes more distressed when given lots of choices before school. His parent notices this and instead makes simple decisions for him while explaining what will happen next. This helps Sam feel calmer and more secure.

Build motivation into the journey

Connect the journey to something the child values.

  • Talk about what will happen after school or once home
  • Let the child choose a preferred activity for later
  • Link timing to positive outcomes in a simple way

Some parents find humour or gentle distraction can help reduce tension. For example, making a joke, being playful, or helping the child laugh may make it easier for them to cope with the situation. This should not be used to dismiss distress, but it can sometimes help a child feel calm enough to respond to clear expectations.

Example:
Leo feels anxious about going to school most mornings. On the journey, his dad tells silly jokes and invites Leo to make up his own jokes too. The distraction helps Leo focus less on his worries and feel calmer. His dad still makes it clear that they are going to school, but the humour helps Leo cope with the journey.

Leo is also more willing to leave school when he knows he will have time to play a favourite game at home if they leave soon.

Support independence

Just like all other children, autistic children may want to feel grown up and capable.

  • Let them do parts of the routine themselves
  • Over time reduce reminders and support
  • Praise effort rather than speed

Example:
Sofia is encouraged to get ready on her own. Her parent says, “You are doing this like a grown-up”. This supports her sense of control.

Make the car space comfortable

The car itself can cause stress.

Think about:

  • Noise levels
  • Light and glare
  • Smells
  • Seat comfort

Some children benefit from:

  • Headphones or quiet music
  • A familiar or sensory soothing object
  • A consistent routine once in the car

Plan for leaving school

The end of the school day can be especially hard.

Children may feel overwhelmed after holding in stress all day. They may need time to relax before transitioning.

You can:

  • Allow a short pause before leaving
  • Give advance warnings before it is time to leave
  • Offer a choice for the journey home, if this helps your child
  • Keep language calm and simple

Example:
Elliot sits on a bench for a few minutes after school before walking to the car. This helps them reset.

Work with the school

Sometimes the difficulty is linked to what happens in school.

Speak with staff about:

  • A calm and predictable handover
  • A familiar adult to greet or say goodbye
  • Avoiding busy or noisy times where possible
  • Allowing sensory items
  • Using visual supports, advance warnings and countdowns

Example:
Haruto is allowed to leave class a few minutes early to avoid the busy corridor. This makes the journey home easier.

Talk about feelings during calm times

It can help to understand what feels hard for the child.

  • Talk when they are relaxed, not during a difficult moment
  • Use simple language
  • Accept that they may not be able to explain fully

Example:
Maya says she does not like the car. Later, she explains that the seatbelt feels too tight. A small adjustment makes a big difference.

Stay calm during difficult moments

It is very hard when time is limited and stress is high. However, staying calm helps the child feel safer.

If adults become overwhelmed, the child’s distress can increase. This is not about blame, but about supporting regulation.

When to seek extra support

If you have tried these strategies and things are still not improving, it is important to ask for extra support. You do not have to manage this on your own.

  • Speak with your child’s school to explore changes that could help with transitions
  • Contact your GP to discuss your child’s emotional wellbeing and ask about local services
  • Get in touch with your local authority’s Early Help or children’s social care team to see what support they can offer

Reaching out for support can help you and your child find a more manageable way forward.

More information

For more information, click the following links

Supporting an autistic child in school:

www.leicspart.nhs.uk/autism-space/education/

Visual supports:

www.leicspart.nhs.uk/autism-space/health-and-lifestyle/understanding-visual-support-for-autistic-people/

Meltdowns and shutdowns:

www.leicspart.nhs.uk/autism-space/health-and-lifestyle/meltdowns-and-shutdowns/

Communication:

www.leicspart.nhs.uk/autism-space/relationships/

Key points

  • Refusal to travel is often a sign of distress, not defiance
  • Autistic children may need more time, predictability and control
  • Offering real choices can improve cooperation
  • Linking journeys to positive activities can build motivation
  • Sensory comfort in the car is important
  • After school behaviour may reflect stress from the day
  • Working with school can reduce pressure at transitions
  • Calm, supportive responses from adults help children feel safe

References

National Autistic Society (2023) Autism and daily routines. Available at: https://www.autism.org.uk

NHS (2022) Autism in children: helping your child. Available at: https://www.nhs.uk

NICE (2021) Autism spectrum disorder in under 19s: support and management (CG170). Available at: https://www.nice.org.uk

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